Get the download below ↓↓↓
[Transcript of video]
Hi, friends. So today I want to talk about breast sensation. Partially because it’s a topic that doesn’t get talked about enough. And also because I just had a massive recognition about sensation on my own body, and I wanted to share it while it’s still fresh.
One of the things that I think people don’t recognize often enough is that all of our bodies are built differently. It’s a nice thing to say, and I’m sure that everybody’s like, yeah, of course they are. But then when it comes right down to it, we’re all like, “But my body doesn’t respond the way that the body is in movies do” and we think somehow that we’re broken.
For me, that has been a long fascination/obsession with the fact that I don’t have much sensation in the … I’m wearing a bra today so that I can demonstrate this for you … in the center of the breast in the nipple area where the expectation is that most of our sensation will come from. What I have is sensation around the outside and the undercarriage of the breast. It’s true on both sides of my body.
I think the expectation, both for myself and for my partners, was that the sensation would be here in the center of the breast [indicating the nipple]. And therefore, when I didn’t have sensation there, I thought I was broken and my partners thought that they were doing something wrong. It was just a big mess.
It has only been in the last couple of years that I’ve recognized, Oh! I do have sensation! It’s just that it’s in a different place. And that’s an area that wasn’t getting stimulated very often. That’s just not a place where, for whatever reason, my partners’ hands didn’t go.
So, the recognition that I had today – I was fooling around with my partner. And this is something that that he and I have talked about, so he was stimulating the sides and underneath of my breasts.
And I suddenly had this flashback to when I was in college. There was this guy who I used to fool around with – we would just be in his car for like an hour at night and most of that time was spent with him touching my breasts. And you know, I was 21 – our bodies respond very differently at 21 than they do it 45! I didn’t actually orgasm from the breast stimulation, but I could come really close to orgasm simply from that when I was 21.
The relationship with this guy was super, super dysfunctional, but with the dysfunction came a lot of excitement. And so I had all the tingles whenever he touched me – anywhere he touched me I had all the tingles! I just assumed that was why when he touched my breasts, I had a lot of sensation.
After him, I was not involved in another relationship where anybody touched my body for probably another four years. And by the time I was with my first serious boyfriend, the guy who I had first sex with when I was 25, he touched my body and I felt nothing – absolutely nothing!
Now part of that could be the fact that it was a wicked dysfunctional relationship. And he was abusive and high most of the time. But I also have always felt like something happened when I was with that guy when I was 21. And my body was on fire, and then something broke in me because by the time I was 25 on I didn’t have sensation.
Okay, so what just clicked in for me this afternoon was: maybe it’s not that something broke! Maybe it’s that the guy in college was actually touching my breasts the way that brings me sensation. Maybe he didn’t go straight for the nipple. Maybe he actually massaged the entire breast area. And I was so out of my head in the pleasure and the enjoyment of it that it didn’t occur to me to think about what or how or where he was touching me.
But he was stimulating those areas, and we had that chemical thing going on. So my body was hyper responsive. And all of that just came together to produce this amazing feeling.
And those particular things never came together again, including that people were not stimulating the underside and outer areas of my breasts. And I have spent all of these years thinking that I was broken, that my breasts were broken that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t feel and the truth is – that’s not actually the truth!
I have tons of sensation when someone touches me in the right place!
And I want to say to you that if you’re not having sensation with the kind of sex that you’re having, it may be because you’re having the WRONG SEX FOR YOUR BODY! I think this is a really big thing.
As a side note, I am teaching a class in a couple of weeks on November 20, 2019. It’s going to be an online class called Tune In To Your Turn Ons, where we’re going to talk about exactly this kind of thing. What is the right kind of sex for your body? Because every body is different!
If you’re interested in that, go to [no longer active].
So anyway, I feel so excited because I’ve made a new connection to my body! And yeah, it’s SO good.
So I hope that you’re having a good day. And I hope that I will get to hear from you soon. Let me know what you want to hear from me. What is important to you what questions you have?
And until next time, here’s to your better sex life!