Danielle is a 41-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, heteroflexible, married and monogamous.

Danielle and her husband Adam host the podcast Marriage and Martinis, where they explore every hilarious, heartfelt, shocking, embarrassing, and completely inappropriate facet of marriage and parenting.

Major themes in this episode include how OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) affected Danielle’s early experience of sex, how we allow our assumptions of what other people think affect our actions and decisions, and how sex changes after marriage and kids.

Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:

  • 4:16 – Making out with boys in 7th grade for a sense of belonging rather than pleasure
  • 8:20 – Danielle’s experience with a type of OCD called scrupulosity
  • 12:50 – The cultural pressure to lose our virginity
  • 16:00 – The mismatch between Danielle’s body image and how her body actually looked
  • 21:30 – Does the number of partners we have equal the amount of sexual “experience” we have?
  • 24:00 – How Danielle’s sexual relationship with her husband changed after having kids
  • 31:15 – A sexual experience Danielle would love to have, but doesn’t think her relationship could handle it

The Quick Five

  • 32:54 – Do you have sex during your period?
  • 33:22 – How often do you have sex?
  • 34:19 – Do you schedule sex or is it spontaneous?
  • 36:20 – How do you feel when your partner can’t get or keep an erection during sex? (This leads to an extended conversation about how we handle it when one partner lasts longer than the other, including a clip from Leah’s appearance on Marriage and Martinis.)
  • 40:34 – Do you orgasm from intercourse?

The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • $5/month: an extended conversation about body image and how it affects her relationship with her husband
  • $7/month: that conversation plus 20+ questions in 18 minutes of Q&A
  • $10/month level: all that plus the monthly Ask Me Anything!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

  • The Tenga Egg – a GREAT toy to use on a partner with a penis!

To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching

If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2.

Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! 

Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music by – Nazar Rybak