Aimee is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, and married.

Although Aimee considers herself monogamous, she has recently begun an affair with another man that her husband does not know about. We talk about this extensively in the second half of the episode.

This is a challenging subject, but it’s also real – there are so few places to learn about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality that many people are struggling in unhappy marriages and looking for affirmation and connection outside of their primary bond. I am not condoning cheating or violating relationship agreements, but I hope that you can listen to this conversation with an open heart and hear the pain and distress Aimee is experiencing that has led her to this point.

Major themes in this episode include:

  • infidelity and seeking sex outside the marriage
  • lack of sexual communication
  • erectile dysfunction

Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:

  • 5:00 – Aimee’s first masturbation experience including both pleasure and shame
  • 7:00 – Bad first experience of sex
  • 14:00 – Getting into relationships just because the man showed interest
  • 16:00 – Lack of sex ed and sex talk from parents, even about menstruation
  • 19:00 – Aimee’s first experience of sexual pleasure with another person
  • 21:45 – Navigating her partner’s erectile dysfunction
  • 25:00 – Lacking communication about sex with her partner
  • 31:00 – Developing an extramarital relationship
  • 39:30 – Aimee’s true feelings about the future – and how she hopes the relationship with her husband will end

This conversation is so raw and exposed that it didn’t feel right to tack on a light-hearted “Quick 5” segment at the end. But, as always, you can find the full Q&A over at

The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • At the $1/month level, we talk about the mismatch Aimee and her husband have in their touch needs and their understanding of boundaries
  • At the $5/month level, Aimee talks more about the dissatisfaction she has in her marriage and what she’s getting from the new man in her life
  • At the $7/month level, those conversations plus the Q&A
  • At the $10/month level, all that plus the monthly Ask Me Anything!

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Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music by – Nazar Rybak