Erin is a 34-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as queer, in a new relationship, she isn’t certain of her preferred relationship style.

Erin deals with OCD, plus related mental conditions that cause her to pull her hair (Trichotillomania) and pick her skin (Dermatillomania). Those conditions cause her nervousness when exposing herself with a new partner.

Major themes in this episode include being queer, OCD, and exploring sex in adulthood.

Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:

  • 3:25 – Feeling the tingle watching animated cartoons
  • 6:10 – Growing up in a progressive culture
  • 10:30 – The lack of good sex education, even in a progressive city
  • 13:20 – Erin’s first time having sex
  • 16:00 – The dreaded moment of receiving oral from a boyfriend who didn’t like doing it
  • 18:00 – Basing her teen body image on being the “funny one”
  • 19:30 – How getting tattoos as an adult has helped Erin to embrace her body
  • 23:20 – The positive impact improving her body image has had on her sex life
  • 26:00 – Erin’s first relationship with a woman
  • 31:00 – Navigating dating and sexuality with a form of OCD that is very visible (skin picking and hair pulling)
  • 34:20 – Erin talks about her hard red lines around sex

 Quick 5:

  • Do you have sex during your period?
  • What is your favorite way to orgasm?
  • Have you ever faked an orgasm?
  • Do you have hair down there or are you bare?
  • Do you enjoy dirty talk during sexual encounters?

The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • At the $1/month level, Erin and I talk about bisexuality – the language that is used around it and the experiences each of us have had around being rejected for it as well as being fetishized for it
  • At the $5/month level, Erin talks about choosing a monogamous relationship after exploring ethical non-monogamy.
  • At the $7/month level, those conversations plus the extended Q&A
  • At the $10/month level, all that plus the monthly Ask Me Anything!

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To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit

Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music by – Nazar Rybak