My husband was offended by my dildo – Sharon

In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Sharon, a 58-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as Caucasian, straight, single and monogamous.

Sharon opens up about her night of many firsts: first date, first kiss, and first unwanted sexual experience. This episode celebrates the pleasures of solo sex and remaining sexual while growing older.

Good Girls Talk About Sex
Good Girls Talk About Sex
My husband was offended by my dildo – Sharon
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In this episode we talk about

  • The fateful phone call that could have been for Sharon or her sister
  • The book her parents gave her in lieu of talking to her about sex
  • The best piece of advice Sharon ever got about sex
  • How getting older is affecting her body’s physical response (but she’s still multi-orgasmic!)
  • The death of one of Sharon’s sex toys and having to buy a new one
  • The Quick Five

Full episode text

LEAH: Welcome to Good Girls Talk About Sex. I’m sex educator and sexual communication coach Leah Carey and this is a place to share conversations with all sorts of women about their experience of sexuality.

Before we get started, I want to tell you this. These are unfiltered conversations between adult women talking about sex. If anything about the previous sentence offends you, turn back now! And if you’re looking for a trigger warning, you’re not going to get it from me. I believe that you are stronger than the trauma you have experienced. I have faith in your ability to deal with things that upset you. Sound good? Let’s start the show!

[MUSIC]

LEAH: In today’s episode, we’ll meet Sharon, a 58 year old cisgender female who describes herself as Caucasian, straight, single, and monogamous. Sharon loves to dance and she told me that it’s the place she feels most free to be everything she truly is. It’s also the place where she feels beautiful. I’m so pleased to introduce Sharon!

Hi, Sharon, I’m so happy to have you here with me. Thank you so much for having the time to do this today.

SHARON: I’m delighted to be here. Thank you.

LEAH: Yeah. So the first question that I ask everyone I talk to is what is your first memory of sexual

desire?

SHARON: It was watching a very, very old Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier version of Pride and Prejudice. And Laurence Olivier playing Mr. Darcy seeing him in a particular scene with Greer Garson, that’s when I knew what desire felt like was listening to him talk, it was his voice. It’s not necessarily the way he looked but his voice in that is just like, “Oh my God! Now, I know this is what everybody’s been talking about.”

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: How old were you?

SHARON: I was in junior high school.

LEAH: Did you then carry that expectation forward that this is how real men are supposed to look and

sound and be?

SHARON: I would not say that that was the way I felt. But what I have noticed since then is that the voice is very important to me as far as an attractor.

LEAH: Yeah. I can understand that.

SHARON: It is far less than a person’s physical appearance is their style of their voice and the timbre,

their elocution

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: It’s all the weird nerdy things.

LEAH: What are your first memories of sexual pleasure?

SHARON: Oh my goodness! I was a late bloomer so I was 19 before I had a date, before I had even been kissed. I mean I was doing theatre but I was never in a romantic role, I was always played the funny best friend of the [unintelligible – 3:57] and so I had no experience with men other than as friends. And my sister who was also in theatre and she was one year ahead of me and she was the lovely [unintelligible – 4:14] and there were many places we were in together.

And so one day, phone rang in the house and I answered the phone. We were all at home and I answered the phone and it was a guy from theatre. And he said, “Is Gina or Sharon there?” And I said, “This is Sharon.” And he asked me out and I realized at that point whoever answered the phone was going to be off for the date.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: Wow, oh my goodness.

SHARON: But he was somebody that I was attracted to but I just figured everybody’s attracted to my sister because she was just blonde and pretty. Then we went out that night and he said to me, “I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to go out with you or your sister because she’s really pretty but you’re really funny.”

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: Oh my God! Things that one could keep to themselves. SHARON: Yeah, one could.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: If one were an ego maniac actor, wow.

SHARON: But I was really attracted to him and that was my first sexual experience, some of it pleasurable, some of it not.

LEAH: What were the parts of it that were pleasurable and what were the parts that were not? SHARON: Feeling excited about kissing for the first time, which was amazing, and all the feelings that

were going on in my body at the time. It was the first time I started feeling things with a real person. [LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And it was up until at that point, I was 19 years old and I was masturbating. And so I knew what pleasure felt like but to feel that without me doing anything about it, that was awesome!

But then when it became more than that and much more than what I was ready for, this was literally my first date and I look back on it now, and I was forced to go down on him. And he knew it was my first kiss and he knew all this. And that makes me mad and I’m not like one of those people who are like, “I’m mad at my high school age self for not knowing any better and for going along with it.” It was the 70s but I look back on it now and I’m angry at the situation but I’m not ashamed of it. I’m angry at him because he knew my level of experience or lack thereof. Well not sort of, definitely took advantage of that and it was alternately a pleasurable and an awful experience.

LEAH: Yeah. When you say he forced you to go down on him, there are two kinds of forcing. There’s actual physical force and then there’s emotional coercion.

SHARON: It was more physical force really. It was his hand on the back of my head. And I had no idea what I was doing, none at all. What I knew about sex was from reading books and books never tell you about giving head.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And it was in the front seat of a car so it’s uncomfortable and it was not something that I wanted to do. I was disgusted by the whole idea and didn’t know how to get out of it.

LEAH: So what happened next? Did you see him again?

SHARON: Yes, because I didn’t think of it this way then. And so yeah, I saw him for a few months. But then, I was turning 20, I was all slated to go the Navy at that point. I wasn’t in love with him. I really had no emotional bond there. And so it was like, “Okay. Fine. This has been lovely but I’m going to go pursue my thing now. And have a wonderful rest of your life.”

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And I went off into boot camp and didn’t really mourn or pine over him or anything like that. A few weeks later, I got a letter from him while I was at boot camp asking if I minded that he went out with my sister.

LEAH: Wow.

SHARON: And I didn’t. I just didn’t. And then they went out for like five years. LEAH: Oh my God!

SHARON: So that was probably the best thing.

LEAH: Did the sexual interaction between you and him become better over time?

SHARON: Yes. We never actually had penetrative sex. I wasn’t ready for that but I wasn’t ready to go down on somebody either. But it scaled back actually to petting and not eve really super heavy petting or anything like that. It was nice. It wasn’t any great shakes.

LEAH: So you mentioned that before you met him or before you went out with him, you had been masturbating. How did you discover masturbation?

SHARON: I didn’t even know it was masturbation for a long time.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: I just knew that if I touched myself and it probably started even earlier than junior high school, but that’s how I would put myself to sleep. And I had no name for it. I had no correlation between what I was doing and sex. It just didn’t even occur to me. Because what do you know then?

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: Especially way back then. Junior high school kids now know a lot more than what I did. [LAUGHTER]

LEAH: Yeah, but to me that was the beauty of reading Are You There, God? It’s me, Margaret like I finally had this name for this thing that I had kind of been doing.

SHARON: Yeah and all I had was I knew masturbation was something boys did that would make them go blind.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: Because that’s what they teach you in Catholic school.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And they don’t even talk about women doing it, so I had been doing it for a long time and it was just a way for me to relax, a way that touch builds up and then it releases and then sleep.

LEAH: Yeah, so what did you hear in your home? You mentioned you grew up in a Catholic home. What did you hear in your home about appropriate sexuality for young women?

SHARON: Not much. It wasn’t really discussed. My parents basically bought us the book How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex and gave it to us.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: I know! They didn’t do much talking and we were good readers.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: Reading at such an early age but even then, the drawings looked foreign and the questions were stilted and not anything a child would really ask.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: So did you have a sense that sex was bad or that if you had sex that made you bad or was it just not even on the radar?

SHARON: For a long time it wasn’t even in the radar because I didn’t date. I had a lot of boys who were friends because I’m the funny one.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: But no romantic interest and nobody that I was really romantically interested in either, romantically or sexually interested in. But I had the romantic ideal in my head that sex must go with love and marriage and that without love and marriage, there should be no sex.

LEAH: Did you wait until you were married before having sex for the first time?

SHARON: No, but I waited until I thought I was in love and I’ll say the best piece of advice I got because I was saving myself for marriage and my sister said to me at one point when I was home and we were actually talking, she said, “Well, you shouldn’t do that because then you’ll just fool yourself into thinking you’re in love when really what you want is sex.”

LEAH: Oh, wow. That’s really good advice.

SHARON: It’s really good advice, too late for me.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: But it’s really good advice and it was advice which I wish I had earlier because at that point I was a young woman at the Navy and I could have had sex a lot earlier.

LEAH: So what was different about this person that you finally had sex with?

SHARON: We were “in love” and I used air quotes there which doesn’t really do good in the podcast.

Thank you very much. You’re welcome, thank you. [LAUGHTER]

SHARON: But we thought we were in love and I was in my early 20s and had never been in love before so I just figured that was love.

LEAH: And so was it pleasurable for you?

SHARON: It was painful. It was not unwelcome, it was something that we both wanted to do and he had more experience than I did because I had zero actual penis and vagina sex experience. So I knew nothing. I was probably unprepared for it. I didn’t know what would get me turned on to the point where it would be more comfortable for me. And so it was painful the first time.

LEAH: And what about after that, did it become pleasurable over time?

SHARON: Yes, but I had also figured out at that point that I needed, I never know how to pronounce the word, is it clitoral? I needed clitoral stimulation in order to be able to have good sex.

LEAH: So you figured that out on your own? SHARON: Yes.

LEAH: Damn girl. I didn’t.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: It took me a really long time to figure that out. [LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And yet because I was still masturbating because I do love that feeling as a matter of fact but if that wasn’t happening, I was not getting wet. There was no lubrication and things would be painful. So I knew what I needed and sometimes I had to do it myself and sometimes I had to talk to partners to doing it but they were not very patient.

LEAH: Yeah, so that first partner, what was communication like with him? SHARON: Oh, poor.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: I was 23, 24. 24 years old and still a virgin. I was 25. [LAUGHTER]

SHARON: So yeah, I didn’t know how to communicate anything. I thought it would come naturally but it didn’t.

LEAH: Yeah, that is one of the weirdest myths we have around sex that we shouldn’t have to talk about it that it would all just happen and that is so far from the truth.

SHARON: Oh my goodness, yes.

LEAH: So far from the truth.

SHARON: And then discovering early on what I needed and trying to communicate that and have nobody listen. That’s the truth that it’s just supposed to happen naturally and that it must be me.

LEAH: So how long did it take for you to find somebody that you could have that conversation with?

SHARON: Many years. Yeah, before I could have that conversation with somebody, dear God, I was 50. LEAH: Do you think that it’s because other people were unwilling or unable to have that conversation or

because you were so uncomfortable with the conversation?

SHARON: I was uncomfortable with the conversation because when I had tried to have that conversation a couple of times before, the conversation had not been listened to or in one case the conversation had not been listened to and another instance, just the receiver of that conversation tried to accommodate but didn’t really try. It was just like, “Is this enough? Is this enough? Is this enough? Can we just get this over with?” And I’m just like, “Fine. Just get it over with.”

LEAH: And so what has been different with partners in more recent years who have listened?

SHARON: Okay, so I’ve had one partner who was really fabulous. And I think it was because he was the most feminine partner that I had ever had. He liked to cross-dress and he really liked the same things I like as far as sex so a lot of tender touching, a lot of sensual stimulation that had nothing to do with the genitals and so he liked that and he understood that I liked that. And finding a man, a partner, who had the same type for touch and love for whispering and tenderness there that I had was great because I knew how to please him and he knew how to please me and I wasn’t afraid to say, “Oh. This would feel really nice.” And he wasn’t either and that was just lovely.

[MUSIC]

LEAH: Interviews in this podcast often run at least a half hour longer than what we can include in an episode. Want to listen to the full unedited interviews? Become a community supporter at Patreon by visiting patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.

There are a bunch of cool extras there plus you’ll be supporting open and honest conversations about female sexuality. If you enjoy these conversations, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It will help more people find the show. And don’t’ forget to tell your friends!

[MUSIC]

SHARON: My next sexual partner was not a good listener and not a willing listener. And so at this point, I’m in my 50s, and it takes a lot for me to get wet for the lubrication to be there, so without external lubrication.

And he just didn’t seem to understand that and instead of him saying what could I do to help you, it was more like, “Why aren’t you wet?” You should be wet by now. Time is ticking. And physicality of sexuality wanes as we get older but the want for it doesn’t. Somebody needs Cialis or whatever to help them maintain an erection. I don’t take offense at that.

I don’t go around thinking, “Oh, I’m not woman enough.” And yet, the reaction I got when I say, “I have this dildo and we could use it like this or if you just touch me here or if you lick my neck or whatever it is that I’m feeling that I need that that will help.” They’re like, “Why aren’t you woman enough because I’m ready?”

LEAH: Yeah. It reminds me of my first serious boyfriend. I was 25. And he knew that I had not had sex before and he was also a significant user of pot so he was pretty much high from the time he woke up and the time he went to bed.

And so I don’t know how much was mental pressure was and how much was the effect of the drugs but when we tried to have sex the first time, he wasn’t able to get or maintain an erection. He got really upset and then I think it started to snowball. He was upset because he couldn’t, which made it harder for him to.

And so for three months, he was unable to get or keep an erection, then eventually, it turned from, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” And I was like, “It’s really okay. I really don’t care” to “There’s something wrong with you that I can’t get hard. There’s something wrong with you and it’s your fault because you’re a virgin so that’s why there’s too much pressure on me.”

And that was so upsetting and the whole time I was there, I was like, “I just want to experience.” At the time, it didn’t even occur to me that I could hand him a dildo and just be like, “Can we at least do something? Could we try? And maybe that could take the pressure out of both of us?” But I didn’t know at that time. I just took all of that pressure on to myself. There was something wrong with me. I already thought I wasn’t pretty. I already thought that nobody would ever want me so this just sort of promulgated those ideas.

More recently, I’ve had a partner who was unable to get an erection for a few weeks of our dating and I was able to say to him, “It really doesn’t matter to me. It’s really okay. We can do all these other things.” And his response was so genuine and so lovely, “I feel really bad. Thank you so much for not making this a big deal!”

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: “And it’s not about you.” And I was like, “I know it’s not about me.” My mindset has changed so much.

SHARON: I remember when he was like, “Why aren’t you good enough?” and just thinking in my mind, “It’s not me.” At that point, I’m not going, “Hey, it’s you!” I’m just like it’s not me and there are, as you mentioned, there are so many other lovely things you could do to enjoy each other’s bodies. Oh my goodness!

LEAH: Sometimes, at least for me, some of those other things are more fun.

SHARON: Yes! Now, even though it was a bad first experience, I love going down. I absolutely love it. And what I love about it is because he’s just lying there, I’m doing something and he’s reacting and I’m hearing that reaction and that is one of the biggest freaking turn-ons I can have is just knowing that I’m giving somebody pleasure. It’s like I have to give you pleasure and you don’t have to really do anything but I like pleasure myself too, but I am probably more willing to be the director of my own pleasure today.

LEAH: Oh, that’s interesting. Have you ever felt any sexual urges that confused you?

SHARON: Recently. I was at a learning event for Sex Positive Portland and there’s a woman who was teaching me a lesson. It was the STARS class and for the first time, I was like, “Wow. Sexy voice on that girl.” And it was the voice that did it for me. It’s still kind of nice that that’s still there. Because it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, it was nice to jus t feel it. And it was a surprise because the first time I felt attraction towards a woman and it was nice. nice to feel it again.

LEAH: Does it leave you wanting to follow that urge in any way or is it just enough for you to feel lit?

SHARON: It’s just enough for me to feel it right now, probably anybody with a velvet voice.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: But it wasn’t enough of a feeling to want to act on anything more than just saying, “Oh. I feel that. Nice.” I’m not dead.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: So you’ve mentioned that you’ve been single for a while. How long has it been since you’ve last had partnered sex?

SHARON: Okay. 6 years.

LEAH: Okay. And does that urge still come up regularly? SHARON: Oh, yes.

LEAH: To have a partner for sex?

SHARON: Yes.

LEAH: And how do you handle that?

SHARON: I haven’t handled it. [LAUGHTER]

SHARON: In fact, so I lost a dear friend recently, my original dildo died and I didn’t know this could happen.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: What does that mean your original dildo died?

SHARON: The very first one that I had bought.

LEAH: Oh, you mean like a sex toy died?

SHARON: Yes.

LEAH: Oh.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: I thought you meant an actual person.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: No, the actual dildo. I put new batteries on it and it still didn’t work and I was so disappointed. It’s not you, it’s me. They’re like, “I know it’s you.” I’m disappointed.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And I had to go out and buy one. And I didn’t know where to go because I’ve moved so many times. And had I been in Portland when this happened, it would be easy because there are plenty of women-friendly sex shops here.

LEAH: Portland is great that way.

SHARON: And I was in Ashland, Oregon when it happened and so I had been shopping in some store and I was walking by this store, and it’s like a feminist store. And I thought to myself, “Hey. I’m that. If I just go in there. And what do you know? It’s just there and it’s a very open friendly welcoming environment for everybody. All kinds of people in there and I just went, “Can I have a dildo?”

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And they’re like, “Yeah. They’re over here.” [LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And that’s great.

LEAH: When I went to Portland and I was very much in the early stages of my sexual exploration journey and one of my things I was going to She Bop because that is the place. For those of you who don’t know, Portland has this amazing female owned and specifically geared for female sex shop called She Bop.

SHARON: I still haven’t been there.

LEAH: Oh, it’s great. I mean it’s clean and lovely and welcoming and I went in the first time and I started

bawling because I was so scared.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: I’ve been there many times and it’s all good but that very first time, the woman behind the counter was so sweet, she was like, “It’s okay. If you need to do this for a little while, it’s okay. I’ll answer any questions you have.” It was really scary and really confronting to be in that space and say, “Yes, I actually want to purchase something for my pleasure.” It was much easier to do it online.

SHARON: Online is so much more expensive though. LEAH: Oh, really?

SHARON: Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: I also remember finding my mother’s vibrator when I was probably in my mid-20s and that squicked me out a little bit. It also shows me how far they’ve come. Like they used to be really kind of unattractive first of all, the motors only really had one speed and it just wasn’t a great experience.

SHARON: It was hard plastic thing and they used to sell that in the back of the magazines with free joint pain and I’m like, “What? Joint pain.”

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: I got you joint pain right here.

LEAH: So I’m very glad to live in the era of awesome sex toys.

SHARON: Plastics.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: But I was married and when my husband found my dildo, he’s like, “Why do you need this?” Because you teach nights and I go to bed.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: He was totally offended by it.

LEAH: Really?

SHARON: Yes.

LEAH: So you weren’t able to use it together?

SHARON: No.

LEAH: Have you had partners you were able to use sex toys with?

SHARON: Yes.

LEAH: And what’s that like for you?

SHARON: Very fun, much nicer. The realization that just like I’m not going to have just one friend.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: There are many ways of having pleasure and that everybody’s cognizant of that and will admit it. It should just be something that’s accepted but that’s kind of judgmental on my part.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: Well, I feel like this is a good moment to mention for women who are not aware of this that for me, with my current partner, we use sex toys a lot because, partially because we both enjoy them and partially because I don’t tend to orgasm from intercourse.

It’s incredibly rare for me to orgasm through intercourse. So for me, sexy toys are really the way that I am able to orgasm. We have intercourse, and this isn’t something that we have talked about and made

an agreement about but it’s just sort of the way that it has developed with us. We have intercourse when we really want to connect and there’s that lovely looking into each other’s eyes and really being together but if I want an orgasm, he’s using a toy on me because that’s just my body.

SHARON: And I had grown so used to using a dildo and I’ve never really done a dido inside me, it’s all clitoris. I’m still confused how to pronounce that word and God, I’m an old woman.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: But that’s what makes me orgasm but it’s huge and so I’m so used to that that really penetration intercourse is nice but it’s not what sends me through the roof.

LEAH: So the name of this podcast Good Girls Talk About Sex so I’d love to hear you talk about what the words good girl meant to you as a child and what they meant o you now as an adult.

SHARON: So as a child, I was the good girl. I got good grades. I never got in trouble at school and probably with my Catholic upbringing to this day, what sticks to me from that is that if somebody says, “Can you come into my office I need to talk to you?” My first question is, “Am I in trouble?”

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And that could be a work situation or somebody I need to talk with you. Am I trouble? That was burned into me. You don’t misbehave. You don’t get in trouble. You clean up your room because your mom tells you to. You do your chores. You get good grades and you’re a good girl.

Now, being a good girl is yes, being good at my job but being a good person. Helping others and I don’t mean that in just a let’s give help to others kind of sense, but it’s like I’ve changed my career path to make sure that I align with what I believe which is that we’re here to help each other and I choose to do it through community engagement and community involvement as career path but there’s many ways to help people. Teachers and doctors and social workers and all kinds of things, even careers you don’t think of as helping careers done well, they can be very helpful to people so that to me is being a good girl.

And sex doesn’t really come into it. Sex is sex and it is a very fun and playful and joyous thing and that’s good too.

[MUSIC]

LEAH: Before we let Sharon go, let’s do the quick five. Five questions that we’d usually be too polite to ask any good girl.

[MUSIC]

LEAH: Favorite sex position?

SHARON: Going down on somebody.

LEAH: Do you have hair down there or are you bare?

SHARON: I have hair down there.

LEAH: Do you trim it? Do you leave it natural?

SHARON: I trim it because it just feels cleaner and also because there’s a lot of gray hair down there.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: As it should be because that’s nature.

SHARON: There’s a lot of gray hair up here too. So that’s as well.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: Are you a single orgasm or in multiple orgasm?

SHARON: I am a multiple orgasm person with the right person. Sometimes the right person, more often the right person does me.

LEAH: Nice. Have you always been that way?

SHARON: Yes.

LEAH: Wow.

SHARON: I didn’t know it was an orgasm when I first had it but yeah. LEAH: As somebody who has never had multiple orgasms asks. SHARON: Asking for a friend.

LEAH: Yeah. Totally. Totally. Yeah, asking for a friend. Is there time between them or do they just sort of roll on?

SHARON: They do sort of roll on for me.

LEAH: How do you know that’s multiple then? This is a question I’ve always wondered about.

SHARON: Because there’s a little break and then, “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my freaking God!”

LEAH: And how do you know that it’s actually done?

SHARON: Unfortunately, I still have little aftershock orgasms after the big ones. And many of my partners have been amazed by that.

LEAH: How often do you masturbate? SHARON: Every day.

LEAH: Wow.

SHARON: I like the feeling.

LEAH: Do you prefer to be the giver or receiver of sexual pleasure? SHARON: Yes. We’re just going to end it at that. Yes.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: I’m representing the older demographic for your audience and I l love the fact that I still love sex and I still want sex and even though I haven’t had it in a long time, doesn’t mean that I’m not a sexual being.

And I’m very happy about that. I’m very happy that the desire has not gone away even though I don’t find that many people sexually attractive. I’m not attracted to a lot of people so when I am, it’s like, “I want to get right into it.” But not like right into it or whatever.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARON: And for some people, they might be taken aback by that especially when you look at me with my salt and pepper hair, more salt than pepper. But time’s a wasting.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAH: It’s interesting that the distinction that we seem to have in our minds between partnered sex and solo sex. You’ve said several times that you haven’t had sex for a long time but you’ve also said that you

masturbate almost every day. So that’s sex. It’s solo sex. But we seem to sort of hold that apart as maybe not quite as good or not as quite as authentic as partnered sex but it is.

SHARON: You make a very, very good point there because certainly, as I said before, I’m monogamous with me.

[LLAUGHTER]

SHARON: The ultimate monogamy! But it’s also some of the best sex that I’ve had. And so that’s why I don’t need to feel like I have to have a partner and that’s also very nice that if I don’t find somebody attractive but they’re willing to have sex with me, that’s not going to be happen I think. And if I do, and it’s rare, that would be nice but I’m still going to have sex.

LEAH: Yeah. Awesome. Sharon, thank you so much. This has been such a joy.

SHARON: This is so much fun. Thank you.

LEAH: And I appreciate that you’re willing to show up and represent the next generation for me. [LAUGHTER]

SHARON: A couple of generations from you.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC]

LEAH: Thanks for joining me today on Good Girls Talk About Sex. If you have questions or comments about something you’ve heard or if you’d like to record a voice memo for use in a future episode, send them to leah@goodgirlstalkaboutsex.com. Also let me know if you’d like to be a guest on a future episode. You can find links on all of the resources mentioned today on the Show Notes. I’m Leah Carey and I look forward to talking with you again next week.

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Episode credits:

Host / Producer / Editor – Leah Carey (email)
Transcripts – Jan Acielo
Music
 – Nazar Rybak

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