When the world gets too hard – Leah

LEAH: Welcome to Good Girls Talk About Sex. I am sex and intimacy coach, Leah Carey, and this is a place to share conversations with all sorts of women about their experience of sexuality. These are unfiltered conversations between adult women talking about sex. If anything about the previous sentence offends you, turn back now! And if you’re looking for a trigger warning, you’re not going it to get it from me. I believe that you are stronger than the trauma you have experienced. I have faith in your ability to deal with things that upset you. Sound good? Let’s start the show!

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LEAH: Hey friends,

Truth time: I’m exhausted. I’m overwhelmed. I’m ready for a vacation.

And at the same time, my brain keeps saying to me, “But all you do is sit on the couch and work on your computer. It’s not like you’re going out and seeing people, or doing things.  What right do you have to be exhausted, overwhelmed, and in need of a vacation?”

I would have no problem recognizing the faulty logic in that if someone else said it to me.  But it’s always easier to give others grace than it is to see it for myself.

So in case you need to hear this too: the last year has been a lot.  Hell, the last WEEK has been a lot with daily mass shootings, the conviction of the man who killed George Floyd, and even more shootings of unarmed Black people.

And even though the vaccine is becoming widely available in the United States, that doesn’t mean we’re out of the woods with the pandemic.  COVID variants, pauses on a vaccine that sound scary, ongoing travel restrictions – it’s not like “sitting home on the couch” has been a bed of roses.  Even less so if you’ve got kids at home on top of everything else.

Our brains are not wired to withstand this level of stress and uncertainty for this long.  You are not lazy or failing or otherwise faulty if you are exhausted, overwhelmed, need a vacation, or are ready to put your kids up for sale.

So all of that is well and good to say to someone else, but right now I really need to say it to myself, too.

And it became blindingly obvious that things are out-of-whack for me when I looked at the podcast production folder and realized – I didn’t have an episode to put out today.  Or next week.  Or the week after.

I’m not lacking material – I’ve got interviews recorded to take us through the summer, with more scheduled.  But it takes a lot of work to go from recorded interview to completed episode, and I’ve been so overwhelmed by everything I need to do that that work has fallen by the wayside.

So today I’m going to keep this really short and let you know about some exciting things going on.

Then I’m going to take a break for the next couple weeks.  I’ll probably drop some things in the feed for you so I don’t disappear completely, but they won’t be regular episodes.

So let’s jump into the fun stuff:

First and foremost, I’m so excited to let you know that I launched a new website this week!  It’s been a long time coming and I’m SOOOO happy with it!

You can find it at www.leahcarey.com.

Included on the website is now a page titled “Financial Inclusivity” that talks about my philosophy around money and charging for coaching.

Studies have shown that sexual abuse not only leaves emotional and physical scars, but can also lead to a reduction in earning potential and financial stability over the course of a lifetime. I know very few women who have not, at some point, been on the receiving end of sexual trauma. I’m not saying this is the only reason there is a pay gap between men and women – that involves institutionalized misogyny, made even worse for women of color and trans people, and much more.

But the effects of sexual trauma can’t be ignored either.

I know this intimately – I spent the first half of my adulthood drastically under-earning because my abuser convinced me that I was worthless and didn’t deserve to advocate for myself. I know what it feels like to be ready for healing and have it be out of reach because I didn’t have the money.

I passionately believe that sexual healing should be accessible to all. So here’s how I’m now handling this:

Individual coaching and the monthly PJ parties now operate on a variable pricing model.

That means you’ll get to choose between the regular price, a reduced price, or a Pay It Forward price (for people who have a little extra and want to commit their dollars to healing for other women.)

You get to make the decision that’s right for you – no questions asked, no documentation required.  And you’ll get the same attention and care from me, regardless of how much you pay.

This allows me to offer reduced pricing to people who need it, while still being able to pay my own bills.

Again, this is available for all individual coaching sessions and packages, as well as PJ Party registrations.

Speaking of PJ party registrations, there is a party next Thursday, April 29 at 8 pm Eastern / 5 pm Pacific.

Under the new pricing structure, tickets now start at just $25 for the 2-hour party.

These parties are so much fun! And they’re completely catered to the interests of the people in the group.

Last month, the participants were especially interested in talking about kinky activities, so we spent some time on that.  We even got technical about breath play (what many people call choking) and safety considerations. At another recent party, we talked a lot about sex toys and people did a show-and-tell of their favorites.  Every party is different, based on the interests of the people in the group.

All parties are limited to just 7 people, so register now!  And if this month’s party doesn’t work for you, registration is also available for parties over the next couple months.

Tickets are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty.

And if you don’t have the funds for any of that, I’ve still got lots of stuff available for free, including this podcast.

You can find me on Instagram, where I do lots of pop culture commentary in my stories, at @GoodGirlsTalk.

Also on Instagram, I do a weekly conversation on all things womanhood and motherhood called A Woman’s Confab with @JoTheMama. That’s Friday evenings at 9 pm Eastern, 6 pm Pacific.  All of those conversations are archived on JoTheMama’s IGTV feed.

And, of course, all of the bonus materials for this podcast are now available for free at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.

In other news – I recently spoke at a virtual summit for female entrepreneurs called “Become Influential.” I talked about how the skills and tools I teach for sexual communication translate into professional and business communication as well.

And next month I’ll be a presenter at PodFest Masterclass, a conference for podcast producers.  In “The Art and Science of Interviewing Anonymous Guests,” I’ll be sharing my system for maintaining my guests’ privacy on this podcast.

I also appear regularly as a guest on other podcasts, talking about female sexuality.

If you’d like me to talk with your group, at your summit, or on your podcast, please let me know!  Speaking and teaching are some of my favorite things – whether on female sexuality, or any other topic where communication skills are primary – so drop me an email any time.

That’s it for now.  Please remember that it’s okay if you’re not able to muster the energy or enthusiasm you expect of yourself.  And I’ll do the same.

Watch your feed over the next couple weeks for some fun extras, and I’ll be back with more Good Girls Talk About Sex regular episodes soon!

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LEAH: That’s it for today. Good Girls Talk About Sex is produced by me, Leah Carey, and edited by Gretchen Kilby. I have additional administrative support from Lara O’Connor and Maria Franco. Transcripts are produced by Jan Acielo.

And I’m incredibly grateful for the financial support from Good Girls Talk About Sex community members at Patreon. If you’d like to support me in telling these stories and answering your questions, head over to www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. You can find Show Notes and Show Transcripts at www.goodgirlstalk.com. To ask a question about your sex life, your desires or anything to do with female sexuality, call and leave a message at720-GOOD-SEX.

And before we go, I want to remind you that the things you’ve probably heard about your sexuality are not true. You are worthy. You are desirable. You are not broken. I work with women just like you to reflect their true sexual nature back to them without the judgment, shame or fear that can get in the way of us seeing it for ourselves. As a coach and PJ party hostess, I will guide you in embracing the sexuality that is innately yours no matter what it looks like. I’m here to help you sink so deeply you’re your true sexuality that the version of yourself that was scared to speak for her own needs feels like a mirage from another lifetime.

Until next time, here’s to your better sex life!

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